Entry Wk 16.2

What do I want my art to evolve into? We were asked that question at the beginning of the semester. At the time I said that I wanted it to evolve into being blue with warm highlights. That is to say, I have to fucking idea. I became an art minor simply to gain some basis to do whatever I was going to do. I have never considered myself an Artist and other than a few fantasies, hadn’t really thought of becoming so. It’s been a year now, this spring semester has been my fourth consecutive term at BSU and my thoughts have fluxuated, but I am still no closer to an idea than at the beginning of the semester.

The original motivation for becoming a part of the Art Department at BSU was because I wanted to take Art 331(?), Carving. That one class has lead me through all of this headache and pain-in-the-ass, and may have killed my GPA (depending on how my final portfolio and journal fair), but it has also introduced me to lots of great people that I wouldn’t have know otherwise. Since I’m still a few classes away from meeting the prerequs, time will tell if it’s been worth it.  

A year ago I thought of combining painting and carpentry, not that I knew anything about painting other than I like looking at paintings. Then I thought I could learn to illustrate my books, or create book art in some fashion. But this drawing class is kicking my ass, a week to go, four drawings each half done, and I had to restart one yesterday, so maybe that is out. I have enjoyed Art 108, creating sculptures, installations, and 3-deminrional compositions (there may not be a difference, but am covering my bases), I feel like I am actually creating something, not just conveying an idea that’s in my head. It’s difficult to explain the difference. When I write I feel as if I’m creating a new world, and when someone reads what I’ve written, they inhabit that world. When I draw, sketch, paint, I feel as if I am just showing something that is in my mind. I don’t feel as if there is anything beyond what is on the picture plane. When I create a 3-demintional object, I’m inhabiting the current world in a more profound manner than my physical being can. Maybe it’s like giving birth, the realization that one has brought a new life into the world. The realization of my sculpture is a new life.